Rally Pt. 2

So... where did I leave off?

Oh right... Seeing the little pink card.

Anyhoo... so I went to class as usual, and after class, as I was walking over to SUB to grab some lunch (Burger Bar had Mushroom Burgers that day. Mushroom Burgers!!!), I noticed something hilarious. There were a bunch of people, without umbrellas, soaking wet, trying to set up a tent of some sort.

Hehe... idiots...

But then, I realised that I could recognise some of the people.

They were the Sex Guys.

They were really gonna do it.

They were gonna hold their little event out in the pouring rain under two tiny little tents... HAHAHAHA.

But part of me also felt ashamed. Despite the weather, the wind, the cold, they were all laughing, looking like they were having a great time.

How can something as miserable as the task they're involved in bring about such laughter and joy?

I turned away, and decided to enter SUB via the entrance by the Bike Kitchen. I couldn't let them see me.

I couldn't stand knowing that they could actually be having fun and enjoying everything.

I couldn't stand that they were going to carry through with this.

I couldn't stand feeling just a little proud that there are some Christians out there who are crazy enough to do this.

I couldn't stand feeling the shame.

Rally Pt. 1

They told me that it would just be Praise and Worship.

At least that's the only part I heard... But let's start at the beginning, shall we?

I woke up that Thursday (November 19th), thinking that it would be like any other day. I'd go to my classes, maybe think about working on the paper due in a few more days, go visit the Sex People, then head home.

As I stood at the Bus Stop waiting for the 99 outside of LuluLemon, I thought about the past few weeks. My pledge to get laid and become a man, then my wussing out, which I justified.

When I got to the SUB, I noticed something strange. Rather than the usual "no Smoking" sign, I saw a big pink card labeled over the word "Smoking," replacing it with Sex.

The Sex Guys... err... CCF, I should probably say, were on the move.

I took a closer look at the card.

1119...

Hmmm... wasn't that today?

Wait... didn't they mention something about not being in the usual room they're in? Something about being by the knoll? But the rain... hmm... the rain... this would be fun for them, eh?

As I walked through SUB, I saw more of the pink cards littered everywhere. Stuck to Vending Machines, Bulliten Boards... It must've been embarassing for those sex guys to put them up. What if they got caught doing that?

I wandered off to class, late as usual, not giving this too much thought.

Just another day, another day.

Right?

New

Things have happened.

Lots.

But time for sleep.

Gotta stay away from temptation.

... it pours

Should I go tomorrow?
On the one hand, I want to chase what I experienced last week.
On the other, it may turn out to be a humiliating event...

When it rains...

Revelations

So... my endeavour to get laid, I think, has come to a standstill.

No, it's not that I don't want to. It's simply that there seems to be something... something on my mind.

I went to the Sex People (they're called UBCCDF... or UBCCCF... something like that) meeting again. This time, they were singing.

Poorly.

Nobody knew the lyrics to songs, the powerpoint wasn't changed quickly enough for people to catch the lyrics, nobody knew when to start or stop singing the song.

Musically (as I'm a musician), it was a disaster.

And yet, nobody was ashamed to sing. Despite there being multiple keys present in the song, not a single face showed shame. All I could see were a bunch of crazy, happy faces.

And I felt a little tingly too.

And for a moment, for just a second, I forgot about my own shame and guilt. I forgot about my goal of getting laid. I forgot about the Brunette.

And it was magnificent.

-----------------------

They're going to have Singing again next week, but this time, outside SUB. I pray that passer-byers won't have fruits and vegetables to throw.

But I'm wondering... just wondering... how many people will feel "tingly" too?

Wimp

God,

Why am I such a wimp?

Why do I know that I'm doing something wrong, and yet continue because it gives me a rush at that moment?

Those SexGod people didn't help at all. But they want me to go to their gathering again.

At least I feel somewhat more accepted there...

Wuss

It's been a few days since I last updated my blog, but I've been thinking ever since Thursday.

So... on Thursday, I took a chance to visit the "Sex Guys." It turns out that they're a group of Chinese students who gather every week... Who the heck has the time to do that? Shouldn't they be studying, reading... just.. doing student stuff in general?

Anyways, I came in a bit late that day, and so walked right into the middle of an activity on defining marriage.

Really.

In the end, I don't think I ever heard them mention much about sex.

But then again, I wasn't really paying attention.

Instead, for some reason, up to today, at this moment, I feel weird about my pledge to get laid. I can't really put anything into words at this point, but there's something.... something on my mind.

A whole bunch of you out there are probably thinking, "Hehe, you're wussing out of becoming a man!"

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Dust

I did devotion for the first time in a year. I don't know why, but as I sat at my desk, daydreaming, I felt compelled to open the little blue book that had been sitting on my desk amongst my other textbooks.

I got it as a gift from a friend at my baptism about 2 years ago, and since that day, it's been faithfully keeping its place, holding up my other textbooks, and getting dusty.

Today's thing was about how the Israelites didn't travel if their "God in a Cloud" didn't move. Pretty funny, if you think about it.

I don't know why I grabbed the book, but I guess deep down, I was hoping for SOMETHING to help me out... something to tell me that I'm okay.

That I'm acceptable.

So much for the BS about God talking to people through the Bible.

Hey God, thanks for telling me about a story about travelling when I'm struggling with Sex. Great help THAT was.