As I was listening to the prof drone on and on today about Asian Literature and its effect on modern day society, my eyes started to glaze over, and focused on the images reflected on my computer screen.
To left was the aisle for the lecture hall, and three seats over to my right, 2 rows back were a couple.
I don't think I've ever seen either of them in the lectures, but is it really that surprising that people will sneak into "empty" lecture halls to... well... do their thing, I suppose.
I wish I could be part of a relationship where a girl would just accept me.
But I don't think that'll ever happen. If I can't even begin to accept myself, how can I expect another human being to accept me?
I know it's kinda cliche, but am I really looking for intimacy and love during my late-night porno-sessions?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
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I hope it's alright for a non-member to comment. I found a card on the bus advertising this blog closer to the start of winter semester.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that I find these posts very interesting. This is the first I've seen of anyone expressing guilt over an activity almost everyone partakes in! I'm sure you hear from all directions that masturbating does not make you a bad person. I really hope no one has told you otherwise. Just about 99% of the human population has a libido, so why would God, or anyone else, object? Who is being wronged? No one is hurt, as long as this is just another "hobby" and it doesn't consume and bring imbalance your life. No one is hurt, as long as you remain cognizant of the fact that the people who fuel your fantasies are sentient human individuals with unique desires and motivations and you regard them with their due respect. You are certainly not disgusting. Not weak. Not "guily" of anything. In the eyes of the vast, vast majority of people anyways. This comment probably won't shake all your hang-ups and fears in an instant, but just know that I hope you eventually make peace with yourself, and that you have the approval of TONS and TONS of people.
Keep posting.
Side note:
In my opinion, porn itself IS problematic if it is considered titillating precisely because it degrades and dehumanizes women, but that's a whole other can of worms...
Looking back, I can see how my comment isn't particularly helpful and could've sounded condescending. It's probably not enough to know that virtually everyone is jacking it to porn sans guilt and self-hatred. It's probably not enough for a stranger on the internet to say that you're as normal as it gets if you're a porn-viewer. Talk about a critical empathy failure on my part.
ReplyDeleteI was compelled to write at least *something* because I could "sense" the pain and feelings of powerlessness behind your entries. And it was stirring.
Good luck.