Pissing your pants

I think that the scariest dream I've ever had is one that lasted for about a second or two.

It's a dream which isn't so much visual, but more sensual, in that it draws from my other senses, mainly touch.

I was laying there one night, half asleep, when suddenly, I felt like the mattress beneath me had suddenly given away, and I was free-falling. I was falling for what felt like an eternity when suddenly, I felt the mattress again, and a cold shock ran through my body, and I shuddered a bit.

Believe me... if you had that dream, you'd be pissing your pants too.

But what's the point of this?

The point is that over the holidays, between the parties, the shopping, the travelling, snowboarding, EVERYTHING, I fell.

It didn't take long for me to fall. Despite me knowing that after falling, I'd be alright, it still haunts me that I had succumbed to my lust, my desire for a quick rush, a feeling of power and closeness.


The Sex God guys are gathering again tomorrow at the SUB. I wonder what they can possibly do to top their gathering on the 19th...

Maybe I should go to find out.

But then again, I've already done the dirty deed, so I'm not even sure if I'm welcome back.

Maybe if I keep my ring on, nobody will notice.

Maybe... just maybe...

Rally Pt. 4

I'm not going to go into the details of what happened in the next 2 hours.

What I'm going to say to wrap everything up though, is that I ended up going.

I bought the stupid ring.

I stood there, staring at the lyrics sheet they gave me as the music and voices shouted words of Praise.

I was in awe when the message was delivered.

I stood to take the pledge, the vow of chastity and purity.

I prayed with the speaker, a Mr Alan Yu.

And I got the heck out of the ballroom before anybody could see me.

And you know what?

I've already fallen.











Stupid $7 ring. Doesn't do JACK$*&@!

Rally Pt. 3

Sorry for the brief haitus, as I had a few things to sort out.

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As most people usually do on rainy Thursdays after classes around lunch-time, I went to the SUB to grab a bite. I'd been at school for so long, but I had yet to actually try out a lot of the lunch places. Yet, I stayed with the Burger Bar. Their food was greasy and nothing special, really. But it offered me a sense of comfort I couldn't find elsewhere.

Wandering around for a place to eat, I caught a glimpse of one of the CCF members who were passing out the little Sex Cards. I immediately looked away, but I guess she caught my out of the corner of her eye.

"Hi! I remember you! Are you going to our rally today?"

"Uh.. yeah...," I replied as I shifted my burger and books.

"We had a change in plans. Since the weather is so bad, we're going to be moving into the Ballroom. We're gonna have our pray together in about 20 minutes, and you're welcome to join!"

"Umm.... Thanks... I'll have to see... I have... umm... midterms...... coming up..."

"Oh no! But I'm sure that the 1.5 hours will be time well spent! Hope to see you later!"

And with that, she handed me a card, and proceeded to approach another unsuspecting victim. I looked at the card, familiar in all its black and pink glory.

Hastily, I shoved the card into my pocket, and stumbled on, trying to find another place to hide from my shame.

Rally Pt. 2

So... where did I leave off?

Oh right... Seeing the little pink card.

Anyhoo... so I went to class as usual, and after class, as I was walking over to SUB to grab some lunch (Burger Bar had Mushroom Burgers that day. Mushroom Burgers!!!), I noticed something hilarious. There were a bunch of people, without umbrellas, soaking wet, trying to set up a tent of some sort.

Hehe... idiots...

But then, I realised that I could recognise some of the people.

They were the Sex Guys.

They were really gonna do it.

They were gonna hold their little event out in the pouring rain under two tiny little tents... HAHAHAHA.

But part of me also felt ashamed. Despite the weather, the wind, the cold, they were all laughing, looking like they were having a great time.

How can something as miserable as the task they're involved in bring about such laughter and joy?

I turned away, and decided to enter SUB via the entrance by the Bike Kitchen. I couldn't let them see me.

I couldn't stand knowing that they could actually be having fun and enjoying everything.

I couldn't stand that they were going to carry through with this.

I couldn't stand feeling just a little proud that there are some Christians out there who are crazy enough to do this.

I couldn't stand feeling the shame.

Rally Pt. 1

They told me that it would just be Praise and Worship.

At least that's the only part I heard... But let's start at the beginning, shall we?

I woke up that Thursday (November 19th), thinking that it would be like any other day. I'd go to my classes, maybe think about working on the paper due in a few more days, go visit the Sex People, then head home.

As I stood at the Bus Stop waiting for the 99 outside of LuluLemon, I thought about the past few weeks. My pledge to get laid and become a man, then my wussing out, which I justified.

When I got to the SUB, I noticed something strange. Rather than the usual "no Smoking" sign, I saw a big pink card labeled over the word "Smoking," replacing it with Sex.

The Sex Guys... err... CCF, I should probably say, were on the move.

I took a closer look at the card.

1119...

Hmmm... wasn't that today?

Wait... didn't they mention something about not being in the usual room they're in? Something about being by the knoll? But the rain... hmm... the rain... this would be fun for them, eh?

As I walked through SUB, I saw more of the pink cards littered everywhere. Stuck to Vending Machines, Bulliten Boards... It must've been embarassing for those sex guys to put them up. What if they got caught doing that?

I wandered off to class, late as usual, not giving this too much thought.

Just another day, another day.

Right?

New

Things have happened.

Lots.

But time for sleep.

Gotta stay away from temptation.

... it pours

Should I go tomorrow?
On the one hand, I want to chase what I experienced last week.
On the other, it may turn out to be a humiliating event...

When it rains...